rIDDleD SpEEcH

here i am guys with my chunk of blog world... read on people......

Saturday, January 21, 2006

Some people ask what’s in a name; I say Al(l)’s in a name………

I have been a resident of Gujarat for the past 2 years now and 6 years before that. Anybody who has been here for as long as I have been or for an even lesser duration will agree that Gujaratis are the most carefree amongst Indians. This is evident from their cuisine and obvious during festivals. Its no holds barred when it comes to funtime amongst gujjus. They are lovely people.

Now that I have secured my position on my stand about gujaratis, i will start the actual blog now.

As everyone must be knowing sardarji names have been a big time favourite amongst jokes, Now they have serious competition. This time from Gujju girls. Anybody who has been here for as long as I have been would probably notice that generally most gujju girl names end with an 'al' just like all madrasi names with 'an' (ramanathan, narayanan etc) and sardarji names with '-inder singh' (do I need to mention?). So doing justice to Gujju names' claim to fame and introducing them to the world of ridicule are the following questions.................

Q What would you call a Gujju gal who is hot?

A Hotal (read hotel)

Q What would you call a Gujju gal who is in coma?

A Komal

Q What would you call a dangerous Gujju gal?

A Lethal

Q What would you call a 'phoolish' Gujju gal?

A Floral

Q What would you call a slipper(y) Gujju gal?

A Chappal

Q If the earth were a Gujju Gal, what would it have been named?

A Global

Q What would you call a mad Gujju gal?

A Mental (of course)


Disclaimer

The names mentioned above and thereof are absolutely fictional and any resemblance with real persons is completely coincidental.


Sunday, January 15, 2006

Business-class education….....

The familiar pacy tune of dhoom in the background, the even more familiar taste of the dal roti and sabji took me back to my hostel mess. Well I was infact dining in a mess, but this was no ordinary college mess. This was the centrally air-conditioned student mess of the Indian school of business Hyderabad.
It didn't take me long to realize that I was in a high tech world. I mean there is technology everywhere and I mean everywhere right from the windows, which can adjust light at the touch of button to the toilets, which had sensors to flush. (Yep u read it right) u won’t believe it; the mess even had a conveyor belt to transport the plates to the washing area. Well everything in this college is simply extravagant. The whole complex including the restrooms is centrally air-conditioned.
But luxury apart no effort has been spared in providing the necessary facilities for the students. The college has visiting faculty from all over the world and the executive and governing board features the best names from Indian and global corporations. The classrooms are fully equipped with computers, projectors and even cameras to record the student's presentation. The videos are then analyzed so that students can improve on their body language during presentations. But the highlight of the college is a five-storied library. The library is open from 11 am to 2 am. The college has 3 hostels which it calls student villages apart from this there is separate accommodation for executives. The campus layout is well designed with landscaped gardens. The sprawling campus is located away from the hassles of the city. The campus is situated alongside the corporate offices of software giants like Microsoft and Infosys.

It was astounding the amount of luxury that the students were enjoying at this world class Indian business school. But as expected it doesn't come cheap. The institute charges 12-13 lakh rupees for a one year MBA course (that is if you aren't opting for family accommodation which will put you back by another 2-3 lakhs). Of course the fee is (has to be) inclusive of accommodation and food. GMAT, GRE or CAT scores are considered for admission into ISB. Well, ISB surely has redefined the way Indians experience education. But do students need this much to aid in their education is a question that still rings in my mind. Somehow the ISB seems to have too much of an excess. This so-called quality education is not restricted to institutes of higher learning like the ISB. We find more and more international schools cropping up in our metros. These schools too feature some if not all the facilities mentioned above. Whether or not all these high-tech facilities will translate into better students provided me with enough food for thought. Talking about food another question props up. Does a country like India where a substantial part of the population is still poor require this so called world-class education? My point here is that world-class education need not necessary translate into better students. As much as I appreciate the ISB and other such institutions for raise the bar on quality education I would rather that it remains a standard we always strive for than it becoming the standard….

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Saturday NIGHT (a)LIVE??????????????

Saturday evenings are perfect for relaxing drives with your family or friends but as most city slickers would agree with me, it is not so. There is so much traffic on city roads that even the flyovers are jammed with vehicles and I always thought flyovers were built to ease traffic congestion. India’s car market is booming at a rate that is keeping carmakers happy and the average Indian driver very very tense.

Today’s cars boast of the latest technologies, and are marketed with swanky acronyms (e-this and e-that) but one problem that carmakers can’t provide with their cars is parking space. Carmakers could guarantee you with economy, style, safety and value for money but not parking space.
Moreover big cars being status symbols in India only makes things worse. You see a big car occupies more space on road and more are the chances of it getting scratched in congested traffic. At the same time a big car is costly, which is reason enough it shouldn’t get scratched …….

I mean Honda unicorn could make you a wing rider but you can’t fly over traffic. Roads in all our metros are jammed with cars and this just brings out the worst in drivers. Even with this much of traffic the congestion could be avoided if people drove with discipline…. you might bump into bigfoot in Sumatra’s jungles but there is (and absolutely) no such thing as a disciplined auto driver in a concrete jungle. Auto drivers don’t mind using pavements (amongst other things like local language (read expletives)) to get to their destination quicker.


And then there is the music of traffic so to say the cacophony that is accompanied with traffic jams. Most times the person with the mightier horn gets his way.. people think the horn is an extension of their voice… but unfortunately horns are not addressed to anyone everyone has to bear with it.

All these maladies are common in all metros around the world but what makes Indian roads uncharacteristically congested, is that the same piece of road is shared by so many entities. There is the unruly auto, the deaf pedestrians, crazy jaywalkers, the local wildlife (read cows, dogs, buffaloes etc), the swinging cyclist, the inebriated bus and lorry drivers and the amateur SBK racers (read students). No where else on earth would you be able to find the oldest and latest in transportation technology sharing the same piece of tarmac, a Pajero and a bullock cart waiting for the green signal at a junction. It happens only in India.

Now that we know what are the various problems plaguing our roads lets find some solutions..

One solution to congested roads has always been public transport but our buses are outdated and overcrowded and to come up with another suitable mode of transport like subways would take years and will change a major portion of the ancient city landscape. Not to mention the cost of such a mega project. Another solution would be to make our cars smaller but that would just mean there would be more cars as they have to cater to the burgeoning city population.

But perhaps the best solution that came to my mind; at least for the short term till some other form of public transport is established; is to have toll booths for private vehicles using city roads. All vehicle owners do pay road tax but the amount is not proportional to our actual road usage. Somebody who owns a taxi pays the same an old man who spends most time indoors just because they own the same car. It’s not fair. And making people (esp Indians ) pay for using city roads will discourage them from private transport. Then probably we can have Indians shining rather than Indians sighing while commuting.

Sunday, January 08, 2006

Ummm… why am I blogging?????????????

Man has always been a social animal and expressing one’s ideas is an integral part of socializing. Mankind is where it is only because of the social nature of man. Only after the advent of human civilization has man been able to make so many advancements in science and culture. Well all discoveries and inventions are expressions of human ideas….
If we did not express our thoughts and ideas there wouldn’t be much to differentiate between chimps and us…. (I would probably be grooming some one instead of typing this blog)

There have been so many ways in which man has been expressing over the years and this being the IT age and the internet; (succeeding the print and television media as future’s medium of expression)
Blogs have emerged as the most accessible platform of expression.
Well blogs offer the best medium to express ones ideas about the various issues and happenings (mostly mishaps) around us. And I don’t ……………………………….!@#$%^&*()

Come to think of it and to cut a very very long story short…

I’m blogging (for the same reason that harry potter has become so famous) just because every other tom dick and harry is doing it…….